Hello again.
What show is "rawhide" from? It cracked me up when the Blues Bros. sang it in their movie.

Anyhow, have not been doing my flybaby assignments. I've been really tired, busy, and the bathroom doesn't need much de-cluttering. (slacker!)

Last night went out w/ff and h was home when i got home. I was surprised that he didn't go out. he seemed kind of mellow, and i was too. (all was fine)

tonight he called me and asked what i was doing. i was at the psychiatrist's office and told him i didn't have plans. (i was going to go to a cool grocery store and buy some unique things for din.) he said his friend called and wondered if he wanted to go out for a couple beers. I said that was fine, and he said he wanted to ask b/c he knew he wasn't giving me much notice. I said cheerfully, "no problem." and that was that. Then we went to hang up and he said "love you!" i said "i love you too! "

so, i went to the store anyhow-can use the stuff tomorrow or friday. I want to have what we call a "picnic." I got some funky dips for crackers, a blueberry pie, some funky beer, and some other stuff. I'll have to think of a main course, and have candles and music, and well...we'll just see what happens. btw, i ALWAYS feed him ice cream. He says it's my job! It's a big joke now. He's gaining his weight back, i've kept mine off.

He flirted with me this morn. I'm learning s..l..o..w..l..y.. to back off on the needing sex to make myself feel "wanted." Many many things are helping this r get back into shape.

shall i list them?
i am not "hung up" on how h feels about me
i am more independent and doing my own thing with friends, etc.
i bite my tongue when i am upset about stuff (i used to share EVERY feeling)
i don't talk about the r
i show appreciation for him
i accept him
i love him
i joke with him
i have lightened up and laugh with him
i don't freak out when he goes out
i don't ACT jealous...OK, OK, so i still get jealous! ...will i ever quit?
i trust him
i listen to him
i take care of me
i talk to him like an adult
i don't try to control or manipulate him
i don't take everything personally
i am more outgoing again
i am GOOFY!!! Goofy!! goofy!! i can't tell you how goofy i really am!

i talk about things he is interested in
i've lost the tone-you know that underlying mistrusting/suspicious tone?


what else?
more later. gotta go. library is closing. i'm in the mood for a "spa night."
karen