and figure out why someone who "loved" me so much could try to control my every move.
Controlling can take many different forms and reasons, in lots of situations people that act controlling are simply afraid of losing something/someone they don't want to lose. It's their defense mechanism to prevent it from happening. Unfortunately it doesn't work and in fact makes them repulsive in the eyes of those they're afraid to lose.
You can tell him that you understand how he feels but the feeling isn't mutual. Ask him if it would be helpful if you and him maintained a no-contact relationship unless it was an emergency. Just tell him you don't want to hurt him but you and him are just not possible.
It's pretty sad though...I can almost see my STBXW telling me stuff like that and me feeling god if she would just tell me what she wants I'd be willing to get her the moon. Sorry, if this making you feel worse I just felt a connection between where he might be and where I am.
Me: 35|WAW: 38|D: 6yo | http://tinyurl.com/2dxx7m6 Feb 2006, left, came back in two weeks Aug 2006, left again Apr 2007, filed for divorce Dec 2007, reunited Mar 2010, moved out, filed again
