Help

[MESSIMADE]

GL
We no longer are in contact with her that i know of (i know i am not!). Ow and wife would talk on phone and email. Wife used my email to do some fishing also and wife had me get OW on phone so she could listen to our conversation.

I will be glad to explain what you feel is suspect.
No I am just at guilty as she is. The thing is she was serious and I was leading her on. I was leading her on out of fear. Fear that I couldn't get out of the situation w/out wife finding out. So the longer I controlled the situation the hope was still there that eventually OW would give up due to broken promises by me. Not real clear thinking, but that's what i was thinking.
Yes there was NO Sex. I was am a creep and i betrayed my wife but i drew my line that I would not do that to her. No way no how. You may not believe me about this and you aren't the only one that doesn't. But my wife believes that (sorta b/c she believes that OW gave me oral).

No it stopped b/c I stopped it. This is not something I'm proud of but I'll tell you it anyway. In the mornings while i was showering wife would be getting ready in the same bathroom. I would be looking at her getting ready and be thinking wtf are you doing to her, wtf are you doing to your son, wtf are you doing to #2 that's on the way. Then the gagging would start. This was making me almost vomit. Wife wanted to know why I was gagging b/c she was the one supposed to be having morning sickness. I'm not telling you this for pity, I'm telling you this b/c i am sincere. I knew i was fn up and I didn't know how to stop it.

This is not a concoction. This is my life. This is the mess i have made of my life. I'm not denying I had phone sex, I'm not denying I led her on. I'm not denying I had an affair. The best friendship is a term i used above very loosely.

I'm clean. What do I have to gain by lying to you guys? Everyone is entitled to their own opinion and I respect yours. I don't intend to offend anyone on this site. The truth sets us free. Coming clean to my wife lifted the weight off my shoulders that had been this doulble life brought me.