"I asked her to call because I HATE texting but she wouldn't."
Then stop. Let her text away to her hearts content. Just because she is texting you does not mean that you have to respond via texting. My daughter text's me from upstairs. Does not mean I am gonna text back. If she has something important to tell you.. then she will get the hint.
"So..seeking advice on that. My first reaction is that until she commits to moving forward together I stay vague."
As this pertains to both situations.. I will just address it with this. There is no real reason to withhold information from her. If she asks who you are staying with just tell her "Bob" you don't need to elaborate any further than that. If she asks who is "Bob" then decide if she really needs to know all your plans. Saying I am staying with a friend.. leaves things open to inference. Same thing applies if you are staying with "Susie".
As for the boat.. I don't live far from DC so I know it is expensive.. even for a small place. Don't know that the boat route is a solid decision.. but if it is reasonable and you can make a case for it saving money.. please feel free to express that to her. You the word "I". I can do X if I do things this way. Might be kinda fun for your S.. and it lends some mystery to you also. As long as you don't become the creepy guy who lives on a boat down by the River.
"I've asked to take her out to dinner next Sunday night. It's our 12th anniversary and she has agreed. I was thinking something nice and romantic but nothing over the top and I was thinking about ending it early with a 'that was nice. I've got an early flight...gotta go.' etc. Again...guidance or feedback would be most welcome."
Just plan a dinner.. does not have to be romantic. The idea here is that if you walk into it planned out.. it seems a little showy. If you see things just burning up time.. then excuse yourself. Go to have fun.. not win her back. Treat it like a first date.. get your brain in that mode. Be a player.. Dress for the occasion.. smell good.. smile.. and pay attention to her.
"I want to do "my thing" but that's been part of her complaint but then again, she's not engaging/communicating with me at all.
It's that fine line.. Of course you have been doing your own thing.. you were "fighting". It most likely is that when you came back from doing your own thing.. you were not paying attention the the "Love Bucket".
I can't think of a better way to show someone you care about them and Love them other than to DO just that. Even if it is not received in that moment.. does not change that you put forth the effort. People.. in tough situations that stand out.. attract a lot of attention.
"I have NO idea what her plans are and that leaves me acting/planning in a vacuum."
No.. That is not correct.
You are keeping yourself acting/planning in a vacuum.
She did not cause you to be here. You chose to be here. All your actions.. all your inferences.. all your reactions.. they add up. You took something for granted..
Relax Eat Think Act normal React.. Smartly. Do something different. Emulate. Do Work.
