Hey G-man, thank you for your most recent post, that was something I needed to read today, for sure.
You are a good man, and have provided countless help to others, including myself, and I am grateful to you for all your help and insight, so from me to you today. Thank you!
Wishing you the best today!
M: 41 STBXW: 41 D: 9 Bomb: 4/26/09
On board the D train now..
"Suffering is when we try to change what we cannot."
G-man, it's great to see your sitch from your latest point of view. I echo the comments about your beliefs, your struggles and your patience. You did what you could and more.
Me: 35|WAW: 38|D: 6yo | http://tinyurl.com/2dxx7m6 Feb 2006, left, came back in two weeks Aug 2006, left again Apr 2007, filed for divorce Dec 2007, reunited Mar 2010, moved out, filed again
I miss my stepson and stepdaughter so very, very much it Just. Tears. Me. Apart!
Seven months. No Contact. No response.
Which began - inexplicably - right after our usual-big-hug-I-love-you, I-love-you-too-see-you-soon goodbye in midwest city as I was leaving after my three hour see-new-granddaughter trip/visit.
Since that day, nothing. Except stepddaughter's "Gardener, Stop contacting me." email response to my New Year's Eve note/wish to all of them.
WTF did X - could X - have told them after I left that would make them do that? Just like that. After seventeen loving years?
This was a large part of this week's IC session. It's only right that I feel this way. They are in pain, too. I'll never know why. Never. But they'll be back someday, etc., etc.
My mind knows this. But the heart - as always - lags. And today it overwhems me.
And it'll be over, soon, and I'll be okay I know...
But f%^K. Just f%^k.
Last edited by Gardener; 06/05/1001:48 PM.
Gardener
"My soul, be satisfied with flowers, With fruit, with weeds even; but gather them In the one garden you may call your own." Cyrano deBergerac
I'm so sorry...and I soooo know how you feel. I miss my nieces and nephews intensely, and no less after 2 years have passed. it's the "collateral damage" that can be the most painful, I guess.
and yeah...what could they all have been told, after knowing us--REALLY knowing us--for so long? they ought to know better, they ought to know US better....
I know you've been following my sitch, and in the past week there's been remarkable movement and grace--not with my nieces and nephews, but my former parents-in-law. and what I learned is that they've been i pain too, they have experienced loss. and they didn't know how to handle it, and they didn't know how to handle xH in all of that, and they want us to continue to be part of each others' lives--even without xH. and I think things will eventually normalize to some degree with former family members I've been closer to as well. things move slowly, there are shifts...and then many things happen at once.
I mention these things to offer you hope, as well as to empathize with just how much this hurts.
((((gardener))))
M60 H52 D20 M14 yrs OW-old gf from 1986 bomb-5/18/08 H filed for D-9/10/08 D final 4/24/09 xH remarried (not OW) 2012
Gardener, as I said on someone else's thread, Divorce is the pain that just keeps on giving. I think it's sad that our society seems to look on D as something that happens, oh well, that's life, it happens to everybody blah blah blah but the pain and that collateral damage is so beyond that thinking. Anyway, my heart goes out to you.
