I know you dont' want to look like the bad guy here, but this is your family and your home... If you think that's gonna pour a raincloud on that affair and have him END the whole DEAL with your wife I say do it...
If you can get your wife to realize there's no future with this OM then she will find you a MUCH MORE appealing choice... that's the problem with infidelity is that there's no cooperation from the spouse on repairing the marriage while they have this other option hanging about... if THAT goes out the window they tend to warm up to you again real fast... In many cases.. though not in all
