Thanks for the post. In our sitch, I didn't tell her to leave. She just did. The reason? She didn't feel like being married anymore. What does that mean? I've asked her and she just shrugs and says she doesn't want to be married anymore. WTH?
I did ask her for MC but she just says the same thing about not being married. No reason for it.
After every intervention with her, I ask her for her feelings or how she feels about this or that. I get the same response, she shrugs and says something neutral like "it's okay" "fine", etc. Usually very short one word answers. It's only been recently that she's actually putting together sentences.
She's never said she wanted to come home. In fact, about a month ago I asked her to come home and she retorted "you want me to bite the bullet and come back" as if she was sacrificing something. I asked her what she thought she would be sacrificing and what it is that's the problem because I still have no clue. She then mentioned how she wished she had our Ds all the time and I told her that it was her choice to live this way and that I always invite her to join us for things, but sometimes she turns it down. Again. Her choice.
She had no answer. It's hard to interact with someone who is so closed off.
She's still in a phase where she doesn't think of the consequences of her actions and is quick to blame rather than seeing herself as the issue. When it starts being directed at me, I'm now quick to reflect it back to her and say that these are HER choices and the consequences are a result of HER choices.
I'm just choosing not to be the scapegoat.
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
