I was the High Desire spouse in my relationsihp with my wife before the affair started... there was conflict on sex as much as in any household from what I can read...
Then later the affair hit, I got a LOT of PERSPECTIVE on marriage VERY QUICKLY...
I am NOT advocating a sexless marriage, I Do understand how painful that can be... But in the context of infidelity or divorce having a committed spouse beside you each night without that horrible feeling of being violated by a predator on a regular basis in your home can't be compared to from my experience.
Let me put it this way ...
As a HD spouse would you be willing to exchange
a. More sex with your partner for b. An open marriage such that they will be pursuing sex elsewhere as well?
In order to have (a) would any HD person here be willing to offer up (b) as a negotiating item?
I would think most would BALK at the suggestion... This puts things into perspective quite quickly...
If I could have a more fullfilling sex life would I be willing to have an open marriage?
Hell no, I enjoy my companion, my commitment, my partnership MUCH MORE than sex and I am in no way going to do damage to that partnership in order to have a more fullfilling sex life... It's not worth it.
Again I am NOT dismissing negotiation here, but one of the first rules on negotiations is to NOT EXPECT to get what YOU WANT gonig in...
Be prepared to negotiate.. that means to GIVE GROUND such that you can GAIN some...
Explore alternatives, look for hope, opportunity, and consensus from your partner...
Your sex life is important, but your marriage is important too... remember the battleground for the sex life IS your marriage...
