whatdidido has changed to whatamigoingtodo

[Esox]

I don't think anyone is advising throwing around sexual ultimatums. One of the most important things you can do for your marriage is to find out your spouse's emotional needs and work dang hard to meet them. If one spouse has a strong need for sex and the other spouse ignores/fails to meet that need there will be consequences in the marriage.

Allen, in your case, I can certainly see a valid concern for postponing sex of a period of time until you heal a bit. But if your wife is high drive and you are denying her sex (out of shame, or anger, or resentment, or whatever) then over time this behavior will hurt your marriage. And yes I realize that your wife has already hurt it plenty.