I told myself he had to have loved me? Shrink says he had to, to want to start a family with you... I believed it for a long time. Thought if he didn't love me, then he wouldve left a long time ago. But now I seriously think he may have been using me to get through school. And now that he is on to the next phase of his life, with more time, happiness, no stress, financial freedom that he no longer wants me. Maybe he used me. Maybe he is just so happy to start his life over and doesn't want me in it at all. I am so tired of thinking of him.
Well you can usually tell when someone doesn't love you. Seriously. Would it be easier for you to detach if you believe your H doesn't love you?
me,34 exH,34 S,16 months S:3/31/09-left for OW started DBing 10/09 d final: sometime 10/10 current: http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2022856&page=1 met in 2004
I have also wondered if my WH used me to get through graduate school. He just graduated last year. And paid off all of his debts in December. It is something I will definitely remember if we go to divorce proceedings.
I told myself he had to have loved me? Shrink says he had to, to want to start a family with you... I believed it for a long time. Thought if he didn't love me, then he wouldve left a long time ago. But now I seriously think he may have been using me to get through school. And now that he is on to the next phase of his life, with more time, happiness, no stress, financial freedom that he no longer wants me. Maybe he used me. Maybe he is just so happy to start his life over and doesn't want me in it at all. I am so tired of thinking of him.
Sometimes they where intentionally using you, and others it just happened that way so it appears that way. You can't worry about it. You'll be fine, stay on the positive side of things and good things will come to you.
wish I had a magic pill to make our H's wake up, and everyone elses WAS on here. Maybe I am just biased, but how awful is it that we are pregnant, or were, and have to go through this turmoil. I feel that I was stripped of a happiness that I so rightfully deserved. I miss my H, my best friend. I miss everything he was. But maybe that is not the real H, this is.
I try to get through the day, and find it so hard. I need my H to go through this with me... I know he would as a "friend" but i want my H back. Not happening
I amd rereading on Detachment and still cant help but think H is making a huge mistake. But part of Detaching is letting them go and go through their journey even if their actions are mistakes
I have connected to your situation, and through your writing style I feel I know how you are. So I don't believe that I actually physically know you. Your writing style leads me to believe that you are a loving woman, and that you can be adventurous and romantic. Your husband will regret his choices later, unless he is a heartless soul and they say that even heartless folks pay too. Do right, as long as your environment is good you will get what you put out.
Having been used as a disposable dad, I know how you feel. But when I was younger I am guilty of bailing on a marriage so I now get to see how the shoe is on the other foot.
God bless you, and I would love to take responsibility and spend time with a woman such as your self.
Thanks DLS. Wish my H would want to take responsibility and come back home. Wish he would wake up so he wouldnt have to regret it for the rest of his life, as i do think he will.
