I think if you approach your wife with that about her father its just an invitation for her to say "I am not happy here and havne't been for years" again... Just ignore it...
The fact that it says "how's it going" instead of "get out of there NOW" is a good sign in my opinion...
It sounds more like she's been on the fence about leaving and sending him daily reports or something ... whcih again I would take as a positive and leave it alone
Responses to her negative commentary?
You could try something new like NOT reacting. Don't act casual, don't dismiss it, just look at her and hold your reaction... just look at her and watch her... she may just turn away eventually and walk out of hte room
I tried that with my wife when she was cheating and i think it was a good approach to take... I dind't SAY anything, but the fact that I just looked right at her NOT showing anger, joy, or anything other than maybe projecting some dissappointment energy that she's acting like a jeuvenile is all I did... she ended up turning away shamefully and leaving the room...
If your iwfe wants to make you upset and get some reaction... Don't react... don't IGNORE the negative comment... look right at her NOT like you are angry or hostile just like you are waiting for her to say
"Sorry I meant to say..."
Just wait calmly for her to correct the outburst... she may actually correct it or she may just walk away... she may say something like
"what are you looking at..."
YOu can just say
"Just trying to understand why you want to waste energy with non-constructive commentary... no matter... I won't engage that stuff... It's not helping anyone to be negative"
