I'm on lunch now, so I'll try to fill in some of the blanks about last night.
C did say this was, unfortunately, common. She told W that falling "out" of love didn't mean that it was gone for good. Love was a choice and she could choose to love me again. She loved me once, etc. C said the M is not beyond saving, from what she heard from the two of us. W said she feels like she has been trying by herself for a couple of years and can't do it anymore. C then explained some communication differences between men and women. A lot of the same stuff covered on here quite often. W seemed a little surprised by some of it.
C also told W that while she had her personal time, coaching, school board, twins club, I really didn't have any because of W's work schedule and me being at home with kids when she was not. Also something about being artistic-my being a musician and being in bands in the past-and needing that artistic outlet to let off steam and so forth. She suggested painting or writing, something like that for the artistic side of me. I don't know if there is anything to that or not. I never really thought about it like that. C told W that I needed time just as much as she did. W agreed. I pointed out that W worked every weekend. That is no ones fault, just the way it is. I can't go fishing on the weekend while she is at work. Fishing is(was) my relaxing time. I used to tournament fish and had to give it up because of W work schedule. I didn't feel right getting someone to spend the night with the kids so I could leave for a tournament at 3:30am just to go fishing. The same with playing music. I wouldn't get home until 2:00 or 3:00am in time for her to leave for work and then get up with the kids. They are usually awake between 6:00 and 6:30. Not enough sleep for kids. Anyway, C stressed to W that I needed time too.
Like I said, it wasn't all bad. We were there for over two hours and it seemed to fly by. I admit, I was wanting to hear my W say, yes, I am willing to give this one last chance. I know that is unrealistic. She may feel that way, and may not. I do know my changes have to be real and permanent no matter what happens with our M. I have to show her I won't slip back into the same old patterns. I can do that. I must quit backsliding so much. No more arguments. No more limbo.
