I can tell you where Andabelle got whiplash...you say you want to save your marriage...you spy on your H wanting to know what he is doing...then when son invites him over and he accepts you say "I don't feel safe around him because he betrayed twice."
If you don't feel safe around him then you shouldn't be spying on him or trying to get him back until you do feel safe (if ever)...it makes no sense to try and win someone back that you don't feel safe with...
You go all over the map...causing us to get virtual "whiplash"...and give up trying to advise.
