CityGirl, I agree. And when I say that he is a completely different person than the person I knew 3 years ago, I mean it. It's almost like he is not based in reality anymore. It is very sad. You can almost see the inner tormoil inside of him. I know he is DEEPLY ashamed of this (based on finding out in Jan). But these past two weeks have given me a chance to step back and the new discoveries have absolutely confirmed that 1) I don't think he focused on himself in therapy. I think he talked about our relationship and therefore never actual dealt with his problems and 2) that he DOES have a problem because he promised to stop and get help and he is ashamed and still continues the behavior.
I think I also feel embarrassed. I'm not sure why. It kind of like we are the couple you would never suspect. We live in an affluent community, we both do well finiancially, we have a beautiful home, he was the homecoming king, I was the editor and chief, we were high school sweethearts, we are involved in the community, we are "likable" and "social", we "had it all." I just can't believe I married someone that would treat me like this. I have known him for 15 YEARS and if you had told me 3 years ago that this would be happening I would be laughing at you. I always trusted without even a thought. I never questioned. I thought that our love was unconditional. And you are right, I don't or wouldn't want to hate him. It is very hard to watch this and know he is destroying his life, his health.
