Cause for alarm?

[OfficerInNeed]

I understand it takes time. If W would agree to work on M then a year does not seem so far away but in this instance where she tells me she is going to leave every so often or one day she speak future tense and the next she reverts back to 'it's over' makes it hard to imagine dealing with that for a year assuming she is still in the same home. I don't know how much time I have left before she walks out...

I just need some heavy hitters as a response for

1. She tells me she is leaving
2. Says something that would suggest she might stay with out pressuring her or scaring her off.
3. Throws jabs at me like she did today "We can go but I don't know it will be together"
4. When she thinks negatively about our marriage and says it is a mistake.

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Also how about you (Allen) or PDT personally has your WS said to either one of you that they loved you again like they did before or something more? or for the WAS (lotus) have you said ILY or expressed joy reconciling with LBS?