oh, I'm so sorry!! I think what you learn from this, among other things, is that you trust your instincts, your perceptions. if something is whispering that "something's amiss here," trust your gut. these lessons suck, I know...but to have this kind of pain without learning from it would be such a waste.
M60 H52 D20 M14 yrs OW-old gf from 1986 bomb-5/18/08 H filed for D-9/10/08 D final 4/24/09 xH remarried (not OW) 2012
Yeah, me too. I was brave enough to look at the first part of this thread. Gee I was giddy. It really did feel good. Perhaps I was supposed to get a taste of it so that I would know that it was possible again. I could say I am putting this in perspective and putting one foot in front of the other, but I need a smidge more time .
Maybe I don't always explain myself very well. I really hate that I was right. We only went out a couple times, just a flash in time compared to their 13 days together in 2 months. Still hard to believe that based off of that, you would up and leave your job to move here(or more accurately, MO).
kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
That is a little strange but, of course, you don't know what else has transpired in her life or in his R with her.
All I can say is I'm sorry you were hurt in the process but I think you touched on something very important. You had the giddy experience so you know for certain that your heart is not deadened from the past experiences. You are capable of fully having those butterfly feelings, dreams, and fun with a man. Of course, you already knew you were capable of that on your own!!!! Now, you have the whole package available to you when you are ready!
Do something special for yourself this weekend kat. Go get one of those 30 minute chair massages. Or, have a manicure, pedicure, spray tan....whatever will give you a little PMA boost.
T19 M15 S19 XH47 M43 bomb12/4/07 PA5/07 S12/26/07 D final 11/17/08 Back together with no defined R 05/2010 confused....to say the least!!!
Mish you are right I don't know the entire story. I do know that he was in a relationship until mid-November. He found College friend on FB in May of last year. So he was talking to her as well as me since around the holidays at least. We talked a lot via messages so I can only guess they did too. Regardless it has been a short time frame.
Even though I have been hurt due to this situation, I would hate to see him get hurt because they rushed into all of this. I know he is a big boy, he can hadle what ever happens. So can I.
kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
It probably stings more because you opened yourself up with the letter to him.
As a guy, I dont know that I would feel comfortable writing a detailed letter to someone I like until I have at least rounded the bases a few times with them (which may happen this weekend).
You cant guess as to why he chose her and why she is changing her life and moving to be with him. Nor should you think of any things you could have done different that may have changed his decision.
One things is certain...you will get over this and move on and find someone else. There are a lot of single guys your age in Kansas. I do know that it is best to try and date someone who lives close to you.
Thanks Kerry. Ok where are all the single guys my age at? As for the letter, if I hadn't been his girlfriend before I am not sure if I would have done it. There is some history there and I just wanted to let him know where I was coming from and why I was hesitant to begin with.
I believe in love and all that stuff(sounding a tad bit like Carrie Bradshaw there). It will happen again, someday.
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
The metropolitan area where you live has around a quarter million people. I would guess there are at least 500 single guys in your age group. And of that group, there are possibly 50 or more who are compatible with you. Cupid will work to set you up soon enough.
Strange as it sounds it is good that this hurts because that means that he meant /means something to me. I also know that I want to be thought of as a partner and an equal, not someone that needs to be rescued in some way.
So gaining more insight is always a good thing.
kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
Well Kerry you need to figure out how to send those 50 my way!! lol Just joking, I know that is MY job. 250,000 people right around here? Lost of small towns with farmers. Best bet is probably right here in the capital. Lots of lawyers(no thanks) and docs with the 2 hospitals.
I don't think a profession is super important to me as long as he likes to explore and travel. I just need to push myself to get out there...YUCK.
kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory