MH - I agree in principal with your views; however, not all MLCer will spew venom. Some may appear as a WAS but are really MLC. In my sitch I am dealing with a W who missed "growing up" and now feels the need to find out what she missed. So I guess the nastiness that I have read, the aggressive behaviors, etc associated with most MLCer is not always present. I would also like to point out that EVERY sitch is really different. I totally agree that detachment, etc are key regardless of was oir mlcer.
Just my 2 cents
God Bless Eric
Hey Eric .. this is my sitch too. H has never been nasty - said lots of hurtful things, right out of the MLC handbook - but never in a mean or nasty way. I think he could have been a WAS a few years ago, but when he was still reasonable and rationale he knew that it wasn't what he really wanted, and he worked hard to try and make us work (mind you he didn't find a way to communicate all of this and didn't agree to MC the few times I did suggest it, but I digress...). Then the MLC hit, and I'm thinking there were signs as far back as 3 years, and now leaving "is his only option for finding happiness" and yada yada yada.
PEI
Holding onto anger to punish someone else, is like lighting yourself on fire to get smoke in their eyes ~ 25yearsmlc
