Well, at least I know she wasn't B.S.ing the councelor. I might post more when I have time, but last night was pretty....disapointing.
The jist of it was-yes, keeping the M and working on it was best, but the C said only she(W) could tell if she was done. To W's credit, she didn't say she wanted to save anything. She lost respect for me when I talked to her mom and dad. She wasn't having an affair, would not quit coaching and the school board, she had done nothing wrong. The C called her out on a few things and W agreed.
I told C that W wanted me to leave and would be happy if I left tonight. W didn't really say anything and C said, "but she's here. That has to mean something." I didn't get defensive and say what I was thinking-she's here to say she tried, now she can move on with a clear conscience.
C gave us a couple of communication exercises and asked if we would do them. We both said yes.
Anyway, the session lasted over 2 hours. I guess I was expecting more of a - saving the M is the most important thing in the world - type of dynamic. I know in the DR book it even says that all M can't be saved. I guess time will tell if it did any good. A lot was talked about and a lot of valid points were made. I don't mean that it was a total wash, but could have been better. Probably my expectations getting in the way.
It did help me detach more fully and maybe completely. She still lied or told half truths to the C. It didn't seem the place to get into a fight and be petty. I stood up for myself and admitted when I was wrong. It still seems like she is done. If this is truly the woman my W has become, I don't need or want her in my life.
I'll try to tell more later. From what I've said, is this a normal first MC session? Can't really tell right now if it was good or bad or indifferent. I'll wait and see. I'm okay however it turns out.
