The affair is "supposed" to be over. If he goes over there or contacts her he knows that he needs to leave. That I have made very clear and did so last night.
Perfect. Now...leave it with him. You don't need to repeat it ever again b/c what Swimming says....SHE MEANS! So this is covered and you've done very well with setting that boundary. I like it!
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How do I change how he sees me?
Get A Life (GAL). Do things for YOU. Running? Biking? Something girly that you haven't done in forever? A weekend getaway just for YOU? Picking up a long lost hobby? Losing 74 lbs is definitely a new wardrobe calling! Walk away from HIM - and take care of Swimming. Get sexy b/c you are. Get smart b/c you are. Get strong b/c you are. Climb into those roles b/c that is who you want to be. He may like it - he may not. You don't care. You are living this life for Swimming. When God imagined you and created you, He wasn't thinking "Gee, let me make this great Wife for him!" God made you to be YOU! Get busy dealing with that!
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It is not like I am unattractive.I have lost 74 lbs..explain the attraction part. So he is attracted to her? really?
I'm sure you are beautiful. So is Tiger Woods's STBXW! Your H wants what he can't have. And while I'm on the subject - I had a thought about this earlier today that I want to share with you. You know, this OW has no self respect. She might seem like she's all that b/c he wants her and whatever. But think about it, she is volunteering to be one of 2 women he is with. She KNOWS he has a wife so she knows she is not his only woman and she is volunteering for that. You must continue to set yourself apart from her by NOT volunteering to be one of your H's harem. You are way above that and think far too highly of yourself to allow that degradation in your life. Put that feather in your cap.
Greek
Me45 H46 T25 M22 S21 & 19 D13 Separated and filed 8/08 Moved home 11/08
