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[MESSIMADE]

McQueen:
I never really realized that I was a liar and cheater for 10 yrs. I had felt I had been for the last couple years, but you are right and it is a horrible realization, but I need to realize it.

On the O- She is very much like me. Spoiled and used to getting what she wants. Her and I were always good friends since HS. We live in a small, very small community where everyone knows everyone and everyone knows our story. Her H and I were close friends at one time also. I believe she was truely unhappy in her marriage and it stemmed from feelings she had had for me since we were in HS and she never acted on them.

I have no idea what in the hell is so special about me to her. I have always been a freind to her and would listen and talk to her. Maybe that is what drew her to me? I really don't know.
We only thought we were best friends. Friends don't ruin other friends marriages.
There was phone sex and she wanted to meet for sex and I agreed to (was never going to) but I always canceled on her with some excuse hoping that it would finally go away-dumb idea. I have not had sex with her since prior to meeting my wife.
No I never wished this child was mine, I was affraid that someday it would come out that is was and it would blind side me. That is really why I was in contact with her originally after meeting my wife. I didn't want new wife to have to deal with an O child. OW actually told me prior to my wife and I getting married that she would give daughter up if I would not marry wife and be with her b/c I said I didn't think I could be a stepfather. I was trying to draw her out to see if she'd say that I wouldn't be a stepfather (that it was mine) or something to that effect.