I just don’t get her actions. I guess after reading her texts I expected nothing “nice” out of her. Maybe this is all part of her act…
What part don't you "get"? Your entire post up until that point DESCRIBES what she's doing: she's keeping you safely as her 2nd option, because you provide her with a comfortable lifestyle, while she speaks poorly of you to others and actively searches for other men -- all on your dime.
Are you okay with all of this??
Dazed, there's a whole great big world out there, including a woman who will appreciate you. That woman could STILL be your wife, but she will only begin to love you again when she begins to RESPECT you again, and she will only do THAT, when you begin to respect YOURSELF. And not a moment sooner.
