Let her think it through. Respect what she's said - she wants to sort it out. A smart woman would want to take the time to consider marrying. Wish he safe travel to her grandmother's, kiss the kids, give them a bag of snacks for the trip (nice touch), and leave her space.
You can handle it. Greek
Me45 H46 T25 M22 S21 & 19 D13 Separated and filed 8/08 Moved home 11/08
Well she lied to me. She went there and left two hours later. I never heard from her. Today i got a phone call the kids couldnt find something. So i found this out and called her.
Apparently she was "currently" with the coworker/lady friend. I have no idea what she did lastnight, but it was a lie. She wasnt ready to have a discussion with me and said she had pretty much made up her mind. I got upset and told her not to bother coming home.
Later she texted to make arrangements for getting stuff for the week ahead and get the rest later. So she has her clothes now.
I've lost trust in her.
Now I'm trying to stay busy, but am completely lost and alone.
Did I goof up on telling her not to bother coming home?
I really would like some advice on how I should proceed to DB in my sitch.
She came by today to see our daughter and discuss what we are going to do with her. I told her that I wanted my daughter living with me. She said she probably wouldnt like that, when would she be able to see her. I told her anytime you want. my GF's idea was every other week or something like that.
I feel like talking with her coworker/friend or her cousin over lunch or something. Those are the two closest people to her at this time.
I am also not sure if they are going to want me to continue playing on their softball team.
The grandma called me and wants to continue a friendship with me and said she is very sorry this is happening. everything she was saying gave me the impression she thought my GF was making a mistake, and I'm the best thing the boys have had in their life. She felt like she was loosing one hell of a son in law. She broke down in tears at that point. my GF denied having another man in the picture to her, and the only reasons the grandma got out of her was that there were some little things that built up over time, and the last thing that "broke the camels back" was my insecurities of her going out and having to know where she is 24/7. This is an exaggeration.
I am really hoping she will decide she has made a mistake, but I am also trying to continue my life.
Well she lied to me. She went there and left two hours later. I never heard from her. Today i got a phone call the kids couldnt find something. So i found this out and called her.
Apparently she was "currently" with the coworker/lady friend. I have no idea what she did lastnight, but it was a lie. She wasnt ready to have a discussion with me and said she had pretty much made up her mind. I got upset and told her not to bother coming home.
I'm thoroughly confused. Where did she SAY she was going, and where DID she go? (and do you have proof)
Sorry, I explained on the second page or somewhere previously where she told me she was going.
Quote:
All I do know is that I love her, I want to marry her, and I want our relationship to grow stronger and get better again.
Lost to GF: I love you, I want to marry you and I want our relationship to grow stronger and get better. I am willing to do the things that will make that a reality. Are you?
If she says 'yes', Lost, if I were you, I would go to xyz jeweler TODAY to buy the ring you can afford, put it on her finger and make the appt. with the JOP.
If she says 'no', tell her you will need a formal agreement with her to make sure you don't lose any contact with your daughter. Other than that, y'all need to go your separate ways. Tell her that. No more limbo for either of you. Fish...or cut bait.
Greek
Quote:
Well I went ahead and talked to her lastnight. She couldnt give me an answer. She said she needed the weekend to sort things out, so she was going to take the kids and her to their grandma's.
My GF has been going out every weekend for the last month with her lady friend/coworker. I've had issues with her doing this as I posted in my first post of this thread.
So after taking Greek's advice and talking with her, she told me she was taking the kids to their grandma's house and was going to stay there for the weekend to sort it out. The kids called me the next day cause they couldnt find their medication. That is when i found out she was only there for two hours, and came back into town all night.
After i found that out, i called my GF. She was with her lady friend at the time i called her. I dont know what she actually did that night. When i was on the phone with her briefly, I asked her what she did that night, and she kept reflecting the question back to me or saying why does it matter. I said several times "because it matters". So finally she wanted to get off the phone and I said no you need to talk with me now. I lied to me about what you where you were going to be this weekend. So she then said I've pretty much made up my mind. I got upset and told her not to bother coming home.
Sorry I dont want to repost what I've already posted.
Her new buddy has been there about 3 months. She is single, has 5 kids, always going out and hooking up with guys,
Think about it, if you want freedom to carry on an affair, you wouldnt be telling your spouse the truth, or telling grandma, and if you get busted or close to getting caught, the first thing out of your mouth would probably be, "you just blew any chance of us working things out" just to throw them off track.
