Don't use text messages when exposing btw, it just looks cowardly and insincere, try to get a face to face if you can.. It's more respectable for you in the long run.
I am not suggesting you were using text, its just something that I saw in anotehr thread and its on my mind...
You may find it better to invite FIL the question in this way :
a. What would you do if your daughter was drinking to excess? b. What would you do if your daughter was gambling her children's college fund's away?
Tell him you are speaking to him as a son in law, and as a man. You are here to HELP his daughter and to offer her a healthy and stable home and are inviting him to help support and protect that alongside you...
Another way to raise the stakes is to cut her off financially... Lock up the computer in the household etc if you can do that... treat her like a child who has been visiting adult websites etc...
Revoke any finances invested in any place that supports the affair - internet service to your home, cellular phone bills etc
You can also expand the scope of the exposure... keep expanding the scope to increase the pressure...
Keep collecting INTEL
Start taking on house hold responsabilities and/or hiring sitters and whatnot to help with the kids... squeeze her out of the household lifestyle so she starts to miss it.
Expand the scope of exposure to the OM's world, his family, his workplace, his social circles, etc. The exposure script in that area would be different, bit it may have impact... OP's dont' like it when you take the fight to their doorstep... Particularly if you show up at their place of work creating an ugly scene...
