HI BD just wanted to second Piano's advice. At this time, the NC is truly truly for you to just heal and deal!

It does ease the pain. I swear!

About the divorce- might as well go for it now. Best case- if he doesn't want it, he could wake up and do the work he needs to get you back.

Worst case- the divorce goes through and you would be in the same situation you are now. Oh- but you have to see him due to the baby.

divorce takes awhile to complete. I shouldn't be so afraid of it myself--it's the damn OW that complicates it!!!!!

me,34
exH,34
S,16 months
S:3/31/09-left for OW
started DBing 10/09
d final: sometime 10/10
current:
http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2022856&page=1
met in 2004