His behavior is completely disgusting. Wrong. Unforgivable to many.
If he were to ever want to reconcile, he would have to work sooooo hard.
While he will be miserable, guilty, unhealthy, desperate, and so on (because he already is some of these things and the others are BOUND to come up), you can be free and happy and exploring life with bub.
Hope you can catch up on sleep. And that the leaves changing to the fall colors are gorgeous!
A week or so ago, a friend of my found WH's wayward father on Facebook.
I tell WH about it & say now you have a way to contact him.
WH says, 'Oh I can tell him he is a grandfather'.
I'm thinking: now you can have that talk with your father about how he abandonned you and how now you've just repeated family history!!!
Now WH, it turns out, who is the most anti-Facebook snob I know, has just signed up to Facebook and is one of his Dad's Friends. Along with his Dad's other children from 3 broken marriages.
Funny - me and other family members and friends have been hassling my WH for years to talk with his Dad about the past and why he left and never contacted his son.
Only now, does WH do it!
My friend who originally found his Dad on Facebook, emailed him and passed on my email.
Jsut received a mail from him this morning. He congratulates me on the baby, wants to see pictures and know more about us.
I am going to do that, and tell him what WH has done (probably has WH's version) and say that for years I wanted to know why he abandonned his son and what affect that had on him.
Tread carefully, think a lot about what to say. This is very very delicate for everyone involved.
I really hope this can be a turning point for your WH. This could trigger some things he really needs to deal with. Wow. I'm really glad this happened.
Yeah, not sure how to approach it. Maybe say hello and tell him I have a few q's and would he be willing to dialogue with me? (rather than launch straight into it)
Piano that is a very good deed you have done for your WH! Seriously! Very loving!
OK well if you want to get around to asking your WH's dad why he left, I recommend saying something like
"I am sure there were some factors in your life that we don't know about, but would you please share why you weren't in WH's life when he was a kid?" ok that might be toooo sugar coated!!! but you see the point.
fyi I am totally going to be drafting what I want to say to WH when the time comes bc I am pretty blunt and put words in his mouth when I am upset!!!
me,34 exH,34 S,16 months S:3/31/09-left for OW started DBing 10/09 d final: sometime 10/10 current: http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2022856&page=1 met in 2004
Well, if I am honest, it was also a self-serving gesture hooking them up. I mean, I have always wanted WH to resolve his fatherhood issues...for him, and for us.. This has been my wish for over a decade!
Thanks for the suggested wording NM! I like it. I might preface it by saying "I'm sure you are aware of the sad circumstances today"..?
Also, my WH has called our daughter by one of the names on the list, before I've made the final decision! It bugs me. Must be doing it to save face.
G, I must be respectful in how I interract with his Dad, and above all, not let it interrupt THEIR conversation, which is so much more important. WH will totally expect me to talk with him, and he won't be bothered. If he is, I will be surprised.
