The very common sex before marriage argument is something as follows :
a. You need to have sex before you marry so you get to test drive the car before you buy it
That's the colloquial.
There is the old school argument to which I am alluding :
b. Nothing worth having is earned easily. The longer you wait, the more mature you are. Make a commitment to abstain as a test of your long term viability to one another.
BOTH a and b have merit.. This is a complex debate and I don't intend on resolving this two arguments.
It's not just your personal view saffie, it's a very common one today.
I am just bringing attention back to the old school abstinence viewpoint that's been forgotten.
Yes, it is VERY important to ensure there is sexual compatability etc. I can't dispute that. But when people choose to leap into sex showing no restraint or willingness to wait it does send a hint that self-control issues will appear on the later horizon for some of these poor souls.
And yes it is equally arguable that abstinence for a long time may avoid learning some important facts about your spouse, and if the abstinence is successful it may paint a picture of a sex starved marriage on the long term horizon... Or put as a question in the mind of some : Is he/she waiting because she's mature or because he/she is frigid?
The question then is this :
When and how does one safely integrate sex into a long term commitment such that we learn both that our spouse can demonstrate self-control and that our spouse can satisfy us sexually as well?
That is not an easy question to resolve.. I won't touch that one, that belongs on the SSM forum.
