Try not to read too much into his actions. It's good that you can be friendly at functions about your kids. Take that for what it's worth. This will be a gradual transition if and when it happens. Working on being friends first, that's the first step.
I know you feel like giving up but don't. Keep working on yourself and you will feel better regardless of the outcome.
Be strong and positive.
I find myself smiling more now-a-days., it puts me in a good mood. try it.
Bomb 8/09. Brief piecing 12/10. D-2/12 Two incredible kids D9,S6 Leading new life! “Success is not to be pursued; it is to be attracted by the person we become."
So yesterday I had no contact with H all day, I try and leave the first contact each day to him and he usually does at least send me an email but yesterday there was nothing, he then only showed up at the house to pick up S10 at the last possible minute he could have, we did not talk more than 20 words to each other but I stayed upbeat, did not ask him how he was doing (it was obvious he was having a bad day) and just left for work without even saying goodbye. 2 steps forward, 1 step back.
m-34 w-33 d-15 s-10 m-11 years t-16 years bomb - Feb 24/10
You sensed he was having a bad day so I'm sure he wasn't in the mood for chit chat.
Stay upbeat!
Bomb 8/09. Brief piecing 12/10. D-2/12 Two incredible kids D9,S6 Leading new life! “Success is not to be pursued; it is to be attracted by the person we become."
So today was much like yesterday, I had to email H about the kids and did not get a response. I ended up calling him as we got some disapointing news about our house and I wanted to know what our plan was, he seemed upbeat and was very nice, so I made sure I did not talk long, stuck to the point for my call and was very upbeat as well. He ended up telling me in this conversation the answer to my question in my email I sent him. He then ended ujp calling me a bit later to ask what time our daughter needed to be at ball and to confirm what time I worked, he knew the answers to these questions so I find it funny that he still relies on me to ensure he needs to know where he has to be and when. Fast forward to later on this evening and I do not know what happened but he was back to being distant. Any contact we had was brief and tense on his end. Apparently his night with the kids ended with him yelling at our son because of the attitude he is getting from him. He does not seem to understand that the kid is hurt and angry and this is how he is showing it. Our S10 does not act this way towards anyone else but my H does not see it.
I went to a MC for the first time today and basically was given the same advice as DR so I will continue doing what I am doing and not worry so much about how my H is acting. He needs to work through his stuff on his own. I just have to stay upbeat, keep care of my kids and take care of myself.
m-34 w-33 d-15 s-10 m-11 years t-16 years bomb - Feb 24/10
Can someone tell me if I am doing something wrong on here? I started off getting alot of responses and advice and I just wondered if there is a reason this has stopped? Not trying to be needy and I appreciate the people who are responding I just want to make sure I am doing everything the right way.
m-34 w-33 d-15 s-10 m-11 years t-16 years bomb - Feb 24/10
I hate the days when you get that feeling in your stomach, when you feel like crying all the time and the panic, it is taking all of my strength not to contact him and say I love him and want him back, I wish these days would go away forever.
m-34 w-33 d-15 s-10 m-11 years t-16 years bomb - Feb 24/10
Hi HM I've been reading along & you have been getting good advice & seem to have been "doing" the things you should.
"Feeling" as you do is normal (crying, desiring things back, etc).. how you act on it right now with a WAH is to GAL, journal, act as if, etc.
As far as getting more responses.. read other people's threads, find ones that resonate with you, contribute support & encouragement.. find some 'friends', and hang out & help them out, and you will get what you are seeking too.
You tend to get what you put into it.
Peace Bridge
Divorced 03/2010 Mom to two amazing kids
Taking the road less traveled because those encountered on the way may be just as unique.
