BD, if you hand deliver the papers, you will have a confrontation. Is that right? Mail the papers like you said. (Or don't send them at all. You could think about letting him do the D work also - but that's up to you.)
My strong feeling is you need to enter into NC immediately. How do you do it? Self control. Get distracted with other things fast! Delete his number from your phone. Break a few plates. Scream, cry, rant - here, not to him. Write a long letter that you don't send.
I know the state of panic you are in. 6 weeks before giving birth, I also started my rollercoaster ride of panic. The lead-uo makes us feel we need to have things 'resolved'. And 'now'. But panic is no frame of mind to make moves in.
