Help

[MESSIMADE]

Looks like I cant go back and edit my post any longer. Sorry I was rambling and just wrapped up in getting my story out to you guys.

I forgot to add that I am totally tranparent, been in IC and trying to dig deep into what was/is wrong with me that I allowed myself to do this. I have had some light bulb moment. I know our marriage could never be the same as it was and to be perfectly honest I don't want the same marriage. I want a better one. I know now that marriage needs to be about giving and I was a taker. I also know that our marriage was sabatoged by me in the beginning.

I just know I need help or my marriage will end in D shortly after the birth of my second child if something doesn't change. I am trying everything I can think of, but what I'm doing isn't working and I need help so bad. I miss my wife, I miss holding her hand, I miss her warming her feet on my back, I miss talking to her, I miss the life we should be having together.