Good couple of days (getting some of the "A" stuff out there)...brought up my anxiety about her going to "OM land" this weekend (was really starting to cause me some angina) and "old me" would have stuffed it down and not said anything (of course, should have brought it up sooner)!
Talked about how I still feel whenever she is away (especially in OM's backyard), but now feel better about it and it seems pretty clear that she has no plans to see OM (and talked through what she would do if there were a chance meeting). Will be staying and be with friends the whole weekend, and she'll keep in touch with me to let me know how it's going. Even asked her to throw out a piece of sleepwear that is a "trigger" for me (as it was part of how I started piecing the A together when she was out of town).
Also got a chance to address some of the sex stuff (as we had lunch today and had some alone time in the house w/ kids at school and tried to initiate some physical contact, which she is still a little weirded out by (as I do tend to try to "ambush" her, which I know isn't good or fair to her).
We agreed that I wouldn't initiate for a little while and to let this settle for a while, since we haven't been physical/sexual in so long and do need to ease into it (and that we would be sexual when we go away for the night at the end of this month as part of my birthday celebration).
Started taking yoga this week in the hopes that it will help me with my anxiety when things do get physical (as I really do get overexcited and even a little shaky)...wish me luck as I hope my anxiety doesn't get the best of me this weekend!
