I came across this book recently "Have You Felt Like Giving Up Lately" by David Wilkerson. You may know him as the Pastor who in the '50's went to NYC to work with street gang youth and became rather well known. Anyway, this book is on healing your hurts and he writes about a couple that came to him for counselling. The wife said that her husband just did not make her happy, this was Wilkerson's reply:
"What a shame that all your happiness depends only on what your husband does. If he's a good husband, if he treats you the way you think you should be treated, if he spends a little time with you -- then you may find a little happiness. But when he lets you down, you have nothing left. your whole world rises and falls on the actions of your husband. ...you're not a whole person. You're just half a person.You cannot survive if you depend on someone else for your happiness."
That probably hits home for a lot of LBS's out there. I know my wife expected me to be everything she needed at all times. That dictated her love for me, please me and take care of me and I love you, otherwise I don't. So, I just thought I'd share the above passage. I think it has relevance to us all. Even when you're left behind you can still base your happiness on whatever the ex is doing or should be doing. It's up to us to make our own happiness and not depend on the actions of our WAS's to dictate how we're going to feel, good or bad.
