Year 3: The Long and Winding Road

[whatisis]

My computer is still in the shop so I'll talk to you folks next Monday. Have a great weekend!

[ImprovedRomeo]

wii, bummer about the computer. If it's going to be down for an extended period of time (what happened to it? I'm a computer geek). Just grab an old pentium 4 class desktop/laptop from CL, install windows XP on it and you're back in business. Or if you have some money to burn get the iPad I *LOVE* mine!

[whatisis]

Hey SR, who knows how long it will be out of service, hopefully not too long! It's actually good for my girls, they now spend time talking and laughing with each other in the evening rather than fighting over who will get to use the computer.
I had a good weekend. On Saturday both my girls were busy with friends so I drove out of town for the afternoon to watch a baseball game. I'd never been to this park so I thought I'd go for it. I enjoyed the game and the beautiful afternoon. Sunday, after church, I went out sketching. This time I decided to abandon fruit and tissue boxes and went big time! I decided to go sketch my church. After I did all I could I took a photo of the church and dropped by my STBX's to get tips from my daughter, a great artist. We spent over an hour together and she was helping me to get the lighting right and it turned out quite good. It's nice to share that time with daughter doing something she loves. It was funny, she looked at my pencils and said "you've got an 8B! Wow, I wonder how much damamge can be done with one of these babies!" She was drooling. Anyway, off to a meeting now. As Arnie would say "I'll be bock"

[poet]

Sounds like a good opportunity to get your daughter an 8b pencil ... or two.

poet, who is still separated after all these years.

[whatisis]

I dropped into a Michael's store yesterday but they didn't have 8B, I'll keep looking.

[poet]

http://www.amazon.com/Kimberly-Graphite-Drawing-General-Pencil/dp/B0017J7Y1G

Try this! Just for the fun of it.

poet, who poked herself in the eye this morning with a branch, while she was lopping down branches.

[ImprovedRomeo]

I guess my daughter knows it's no use fighting over the computer...dad's bigger

[whatisis]

Well the computer is back! They updated the bios, which is something to do with the screen communicating with the unit, and threw in an AV cord, just in case that was the issue! I've also been off work all week. Monday afternoon I began to feel incredibly weak again, went to the doctor who told me I have Bronchitis..."that's what happens when you wait two weeks to come and see me" Thanks doc. I'd been coughing on and off for a few days here and there, getting stuffy every few days but felt OK until Monday. I still feel like sh!t so I went to see him again and he gave me some puffers and a note for work. I hope they ask for the note because then they'll have to reimburse me the $10 fee I paid. Now, other than sitting around my apartment ruminating about my life, I've done a couple of sketches from photos I took of old buildings. (Poet, I got the pencil but thanks for the Amazon link!) So, now I'm going to have lunch and then I'll sit and stare at the wall for a few hours after which I will...Oh hell, why spoil it by planning... I think I'll just go with whatever excitement comes my way! Hey, maybe I'll take the garbage out...who knows.

[whatisis]

I came across this book recently "Have You Felt Like Giving Up Lately" by David Wilkerson. You may know him as the Pastor who in the '50's went to NYC to work with street gang youth and became rather well known. Anyway, this book is on healing your hurts and he writes about a couple that came to him for counselling. The wife said that her husband just did not make her happy, this was Wilkerson's reply:

"What a shame that all your happiness depends only on what your husband does. If he's a good husband, if he treats you the way you think you should be treated, if he spends a little time with you -- then you may find a little happiness. But when he lets you down, you have nothing left. your whole world rises and falls on the actions of your husband.
...you're not a whole person. You're just half a person.You cannot survive if you depend on someone else for your happiness."

That probably hits home for a lot of LBS's out there. I know my wife expected me to be everything she needed at all times. That dictated her love for me, please me and take care of me and I love you, otherwise I don't.
So, I just thought I'd share the above passage. I think it has relevance to us all. Even when you're left behind you can still base your happiness on whatever the ex is doing or should be doing. It's up to us to make our own happiness and not depend on the actions of our WAS's to dictate how we're going to feel, good or bad.

[bright_new_day]

...you're not a whole person. You're just half a person.You cannot survive if you depend on someone else for your happiness."

That probably hits home for a lot of LBS's out there. I know my wife expected me to be everything she needed at all times. That dictated her love for me, please me and take care of me and I love you, otherwise I don't.

That was definitely my relationship! In one of our last arguments he said I was a lousy wife because I didn't make him happy. It took me some time and distance to realize that he was never going to be happy with me becaue he wasn't happy with himself. Making him happy was an impossible job..and I didn't want that job anymore. I am now happy.