Need 'How to' on exposure,,,, and balls to do it

[Optimust]

Total game plan:

MANTRA:
Everything I am doing I am doing to save our marriage and our family

EXPOSURE STATEMENT:
Our marriage and family family are the most important thing to me and and I will do everything I can to save that.

I want to be in a committed, honest, loving and fun relationship with you. This can not happen as long as you are in an emotional or a physical affair, with OM, or any other man. It disrespects myself, our vows, our family, and our faith. This marriage doesn’t have room for three people.

D1 and D2 deserve an honest, stable, and loving environment which we provide them.

If you put the affair above the needs of our family, and continue causing damage and confusion to our children, and marriage, I can not support you.

You need to be aware that the affair. it's participants, and the pain and drama that it causes are never welcome in our home."

I will do what is necessary to protect our marriage, myself and our girls.

I’m a very patient man, but this needs to be resolved soon.

UPON DENIAL:
We both know you're lying right now. Please stop it. I know all about you and _______, and it needs to stop. It's incredibly disrespectful to me, to our marriage, and to our family

CALL TO OM with this after finish talking with W:

OM, this is LBH. Your interactions with my wife are not welcome in any way. This is my marriage and family that you are reeking havoc with, and causes pain and distress for my daughters D1 and D2. You need to stop all contact with my wife now, or there will be major repercussions that will ripple through your life.

THREE MAIN BOUNDARY STATEMENTS:(if I get this far)
I want to be in an honest and committed marriage. If you can’t help me to build back the trust I lost by sharing all your contact stuff with me like FB, TM, where you are at and who you are with, then I will need to reevaluate my place in our marriage.

I want to be your sole provider of love and understanding, and your best friend and confidant, the person you come to with your problems so I can listen, if you feel that you need to go outside our marriage to fulfill these needs of yours and mine, I will need to think about staying in this relationship.

I want us to be a healthier, happier and more communicative family and union through the help of counselors, the church, and other positive influences, if you don’t want to help yourself and our marriage through these sources to be the great place it can be, I will have to make a decision on my commitment to our marriage.

[Puppy Dog Tails]

That all sounds good!

Puppy

[MrBond]

So when are you going to confront?

[Optimust]

Well that depends on if she comes home tonight I guess,,she kinda set up the day and the kids at other peoples houses, so as to not really need to be home.

If she does come home,,tonight.

Otherwise,,who the F*** knows!!

I'm so pissed off I find myself in this situation again.

I'm not looking forward to it, but I also need to get it done and over with to move into whatever fun awaits me in the post-exposure world.

You guys all for me calling OM? this is the only thing I was getting mixed signals on.

[Puppy Dog Tails]

No, I don't advocate it. It only elevates him in importance, and gives the two of them a good laugh at your expense.

Puppy

[Allen A]

If you think it will help then do it, but as pup mentioned, most often it just ends up you feeling humiliated... You have to gauge the character of the OM... and given the circumstances none of them start off with a good track record...

[swimmingupstream]

The other woman contacted me a few times. I do know her and I do work with her. She tried to get under my skin and at first I let her but the fact that I did not respond made me feel good about myself. Because the fact of the matter is is that it is not about the other man( in your case) it is about you and your wife and that is who you need to deal with. The other man is just going to make you feel like crap. I know the other woman tries to justify what she is doing in so many ways in my case. I would say out her to her friends and family. Think of it like an intervention. I would leave the other man out of it because it wont do any good.

[Optimust]

started new thread - because I exposed last night

http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2014282#Post2014282

please help me out on new thread