I agree about the sexual activity. Not that this makes a huge difference, but she has been married for 17 years to an amazing man; her divorce is final on Monday. To the best of her husband's knowledge, this is the only affair she's been involved in, as is the case for my husband. I do not know about their current sexual activity, but do not know when they would have had time to see each other since he's moved back home. It is very much a text/email affair and always has been. Again, just a very odd addiction that usually starts up when one of them is drunk (which is often for her).
My husband as of this morning has agreed to complete transparency. I told him he gets 6 months of proving to me that he can go without contacting her, but I need to be present when he calls to break this off (whatever it is) with her and I am to have access at all times to his home and email accounts. He has even suggested moving to another town since we have to see her regularly (one of our children is involved in the same activities as one of her her kids). I told him that because of his problem, I'm not sure moving will actually change anything. Change will come when he makes the decision to STOP, whether he lives next door to her or 3 states away. I've obviously had all I can or will take with this.
