Remember...look forward, not back. The past can't be undone, but the present always looks ugly when our glasses are made of the past. When the past makes the future, it looks that much more ugly.
Let the anger go.
IF she truly wants to give the M a chance, it won't last long if all she sees is bitterness and a lack of forgiveness. IF things work out, she will apologize in time. She will.
I know forgiveness is a gift you give yourself. I guess I'm kinda stuck and wanting and willing to forgive if she admitted she wanted or needed forgiveness. That's not how it works, I know, but that's where I find myself right now. I know I still need a lot of work on myself. Hopefully I can continue the work in MC and can get on with forgiving even if she doesn't ask for it.
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I am VERY excited for you IDL. In one day, you may have a terrible or wonderful experience. But...it is moving forward.
By God, yes, it is moving forward.
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Pray and thank God alone for the chance. Sleep well. Expect no miracles but have the smile that said you are about to get one. Your children will be very proud of your efforts years from now.
I do pray often and have thanked Him for the chance. My children are my pride and joy and I want them to be proud of me.
Believe me, as much as I think she needs help , I know I do too. Together, there is nothing we can't handle. But, we're not really together right now and I have to be more willing to do more of the heavy lifting if I want to save this. I still do want to save my M. I will be okay if she goes. It can't go on like this much longer.
