Need a Plan for My Marriage

[TimeHeals]

Everything that has happened will all fall on her at this point, and she will have to live with consequences of her decisions and actions.

When you finally detach, what she does will not matter to you because it is her life, her actions, her consequences.

You will be too busy thinking about your life, your actions, and your own consequences.

Love (the unconditional kind) is different than attatchment. It is attatchment that has you thinking so much about what she does.

When you detach you can be fully open (yes you love this person, no you do not respect their choices, and yes you are moving on with your life one way or another, and it just doesn't bother you any more).

[StandingTall]

LSG - just had my W dropped the bomb 1.5 weeks ago. Over the past few days, I have decided that doing what is right for my child is more important than anything else.

There is also the aspect of having to one day explain to your fully grown children what happened with the divorce. Even if they do not hear it from you, they will hear it from other people. Therefore do the right thing, that is all one has to fulfill to lead your children with a strong example of how a human being should act in this world.

[LSG]

TH,

I wish I was detached now, but I know I cannot force that to happen. I just hope it happens soon.

I need to move on with my life, but I just am not ready yet. It is still to fresh for me to do that now.

Thanks for keeping me understanding where I am at in the process of my R.

[LSG]

ST,

I am so sorry that you had that happen to you. It is devastating in so many ways, but the kids do seem to become the main focus. They are for me even though I do want the M. It seems the M will end, but I will be a father forever. A good one!!!

I am doing the right thing for my kids by taking an offensive, not the defensive where they are concerned.

It nice to hear other fathers doing what is right for their children. They are more important than anything else, even the spouse at this point in the M.

Keep positive and continue to do what is best for your kids.

Thank you for keeping my focus in the right direction.

[DaddyLongShanks]

While they are the master of their "fog", you will start to "laugh" at their distortion due to your new attitude. Have alot of fun, it helps.

I know exactly what you mean here. Once you just accept everything and start moving on with your own life, some of the stuff they do just seems kind of funny. I am not trying to be mean by that either. You just realize there is something going on that has nothing at all to do with you anymore.

In the "fog" some who where supporting my wifes view point was laughing at me. I'm a pretty secure person, my wife and the situation had chipped it down over the years, so thats all I needed on top of it. Lately I got my old stability and esteem back, so when they laugh at me for some bassackwards stuff such as being a father to your children, its pretty funny to me that they are ignorant enough to laugh at someone for that. Doesn't hurt me one bit, comes across as $hitty.

There are dozens of things in the "distorted realm", that I can laugh at, doesn't bother me anymore.

[LSG]

DLS,

It takes time to recover from being put down for so long. I realize more everyday that my W has done that to me, and did not provide very much support. It was always me supporting her.

These people only see the "fog" WAS are spreading around. It distorts their view too.

Being a father is something to be proud of, so never believe otherwise. I am laughing now at her because she does realize what a real Husband and Father I am. I love my family, and she will miss that someday.

Too late by then...for her.

[idontunderstand]

Being a father is something to be proud of, so never believe otherwise. I am laughing now at her because she does realize what a real Husband and Father I am. I love my family, and she will miss that someday.

Too late by then...for her.

ATTA BOY!!

[LSG]

I am so annoyed with W right now. She is in the bedroom watching a DVD by herself. She was texting the OM because I noticed her phone gone. Should I say something? I just want to tell her how I feel. I think she is so terrible, and it is awful what she has done to me and our family. I just want to call the OM and tell him I think he is such a piece of crap.

I know I should not do this, but I want to do this so bad. I am just so angry right now.

Any advice on how I should handle this? It is just so disgusting to me. I keep quiet, and I want to say something about it.

I honestly don't think at this moment I would ever want her in my life after what she has done.

[LSG]

Another thing that is so annoying is how she walks around her acting like I am the bad guy. I am so tired of the attitude from her. I hate the holier-than-thou attitude like she is doing nothing wrong or has done nothing wrong. Should I say something about or not waste my time?

[LSG]

Another thing that is so annoying is how she walks around her acting like I am the bad guy. I am so tired of the attitude from her. I hate the holier-than-thou attitude like she is doing nothing wrong or has done nothing wrong. Should I say something about or not waste my time?