Need advice for my sitch...

[Greek]

The first couple years were great, but I got sucked into a game and ignored her alot. After realizing what i was doing i quit playing and tried too hard to get us back to where we were before. Daily life is pretty typical dealing with kids, and keeping up the house. We rarely get alone time with each other. I feel like im not sure how to make her feel special in my eyes like i did when we were courting.

Aren't you technically still courting? Why haven't you two made a M commitment to each other?

Since then I thought we were doing alright, but I've become insecure with loosing her. She has done the typical excuses to get out of sex, or just hurry up attitude, where she used to be into it. So there's been frequent rejection/not in the mood. I sometimes avoid giving her affection or initiating sex to see if she will. I feel unwanted by her and hope to get affirmation/reassurance from her, but alot of times it doesnt happen so im left disappointed.

You and GF need to have a conversation about these feelings/impressions. You should express this to her, but also listen when she gives her POV.

Her general attitude has been disinterest for some time now. I'm sure partly my fault from the demons i've developed. I've also been a broken record about every month trying to open up communication to work on some of our issues. Usually its about her lack of affection and interest in me. I've been jealous and insecure.

Put yourself in her shoes. Surely she feels like these monthly communications are attacks on her. Y'all need to find a better, more equitable way to share.

Some things this time were that she didnt know how to work on us, she is afraid, afraid to let anyone get close to her, afraid to show her weaknesses, etc..

You understand these are her abuse wounds.

So what is the reason for not being M? She has all of the Wifely Expectations, but none of the commitment.
Greek