"We have history and we're repeating it. That probably isn't good since it ended the way it did. That's why I'm always waiting for the other shoe to drop. We've circled back to comfortable and boring."
Hi Mish!.. I really worked hard on my 180's when bf was gone. And that was also for me, because I wasnt happy being that fearful closed off person (never going to a bbq unless high summer, in case I caught a chill, for example!!!).. and so the 180's became changes and a new me.
When he came back, I constantly checked myself, daily, hour by hour, not to fall back into old patterns (to be fair, bf talked about the new him too and all the things he had learnt). Pre-bomb, I never used to wake up with him, forcing him to creep around so as not to wake me. Now, we wake early together every day and have tea and chats in bed. The old me would never have believed it! BUT, I do it for me and I do it for our R, as he prefers to have breakfast with me and it means we start the day together.
This and many other examples. You have to figure out what about YOUR behaviour/habits/reactions you dont like or arent helping your R and work on changing that. Work out what kind of R/what kind of partner you wish to be to Gabe. Then.. well as for him, men can take a little training up right
But you already said he seemed to be more giving and helpful than he used to be??
Like Michelle says, shake things up.. Also I agree with Kat..you have a large family and maybe he's just not into it? You could respect his not wanting to be involved in the same way you expect him to respect you wanting him to be involved, if you get my drift. You just need to arrive at a compromise maybe? I think its amazing you are back together but I hate to see you beat yourself up so much. Al xxx
Me:40! H:37 Together: 12yrs IDLY & left 11/07 ADs 03/08 OW 8/08 Reconciled 05/09 now married! my thread
