(pardon me if I sound nuts, I am hopped up on coffee way too late!)

ALL and I do mean ALL my H ever had to do was look me in the eye and say I am sorry.

Not "I am sorry BUT..... not "I am sorry <insert cliech, BS or crazy justification here>

Just one plain old "I'm sorry".

That doesn't mean we would be friends or anything else but for ME it would really go a long way.

I could almost get over the affair. What I am not sure I could ever get over was how he treated me when I got sick. I didn't expect him to come running back or take care of me but to take all the money and the car is still unthinkable to me.

My H has never shown me an ounce of remorse. He has allowed me for almost three years to go through the debilitating pain of putting all the pieces together on my own. He still very much behaves like a "new WAS" telling me we can't be married (um, yeah, I gathered that) and all the usual BS you hear from a spouse when they first walk away.

I won't say he has done zero work on himself but I will say I don't see it if he has. Honestly, to see him makes me feel ill when I think of what has gone down. It's not hate or sadness really, just disgust.

The past two anniversaries (while he was with OW no less) he has contacted me to say *something* and how this day will always mean everything to him and he never thought things would turn out this way. Pure crap!

Ugh, I need this day to be over.