still separated, headed for D?

[newmama]

Thank you, CW!! I guess you are right that we come here because we all have hope. I get mixed messages sometimes though.

But anyway, my latest blab is that I am looking into how to forgive. One suggestion from this link http://stress.about.com/od/relationships/a/how_to_forgive.htm

was based on research...that when we actually can find the benefits we have received from the negative situation, (through journaling) can help us to forgive more easily. So I will be doing that (in an actual journal!)

here is another tip:
Try to remember the other person’s good qualities, assume that their motives were not to purposely cause you pain (unless you have clear indicators otherwise), and you may find it easier to forgive.

and another:
It’s important to understand that forgiveness is not the same as condoning the offending action, and it’s OK (and sometimes vital) to include self-protective plans for the future as part of your forgiveness process. (to ensure the bad treatment doesn't happen again)


OK a random tidbit from a different site:
"forgiveness can never happen as long as you are still needy. As soon as you forget the person you loved and love someone else you will easily be able to forgive him because you don't need him anymore." lol! I GET IT- dating is how I will forgive WH!

"The bad feelings you get when someone hurts you will disappear if your subconscious mind believed that no one will hurt you this way again. After all these bad feelings can be nothing but a cry from your subconscious mind asking you to prevent such events from happening in the future.

So to summarize this all, becoming stronger will help you forgive people and promising yourself that you won’t let anybody hurt you again will ease the pain you get when someone does something bad to you."

GAL today: swim class, pigged out all day but tried new bread (challah with raisins) and new ice cream (Rootbeer float).

GAL plans for tomorrow: take S to get haircut and park IF it is sunny!, go to tumble class, meet J and her son for dinner
(eat less to balance today!!)