This is all very bizarre. I would bet your W is not telling you the whole story.
You live in NY state, correct? As soon as the higher ups at my H's company learned he was having an affair with a co-worker they could not contact me fast enough. And no, that is not how I found out. You see, due to the divorce laws in this state it is a *very* serious matter to begin an affair in the workplace. Essentially when an affair starts at the company and the company building, telephones, property or computers are used in *any* sense to conduct the affair it is very bad.
My H works for a very trendy/hip company with nearly 5000 employees and that place is rife with affairs. It makes a soap opera look like nursery school. Behind closed doors this company has shelled out millions in legal fees getting wrapped up in litigation in adultery cases and they are more than willing to do whatever is appropriate to prevent that from happening.
I hope your W wakes up and realizes what a very serious matter this is should you decide to file for divorce or she does for that matter.
