Because he fell into a painkiller addiction almost 2 years ago,our lives went upside down. But I never divorced him. I always believed "for better or for worse". We were still in love just in a really bad rollercoaster.
You seem to be rewriting history here. You say you always believed in for better or worse and you never divorced him. However your original post says something quite different. You admit you weren't in love with him. You admit the marriage was over FROM the beginning. You seem to follow whatever emiotion you have for the day.
Now you are saying something quite different,but that isn't what your first post communicated. Seems to me you were communicating it was over and you were NOT in love at some point or points.
Quote:
January 09. He did not look for a job. I would catch him sleeping till 5-6pm. I stayed out even more bc I was angry. Marriage counseling did nothing for us. I KNEW he was still somehow on drugs. We emotionally separated. 2009 was a horrible year. He spent it denying it and falling more depressed. . I spent it being angry and cold and never being home with him. I yelled, I screamed.I told myself I was not in love with him because if I said it to my family, to the world that we were crumbling out loud, then it would be true. I tried to convince myself I only loved him but was not in love with him because I was TERRIFIED he would die. The Sunday of Labor Day weekend, he just left one night saying he was going to get coffee. 10 minutes passed; half an hour passed. An hour passed. I finally got in contact with him and told him if he did not come back right away to not come back at all. He did not come home. We were separated and barely talking for 2.5 months.
Thanksgiving week. I find out his car was repo’d. I had come to the conclusion that I am not in love with him anymore but I knew I was the only one that could save him. After a million phone calls I find out where he is and go to him. I tell him to come home and I would help him as a friend. We would do this together. But the marriage was over and it was from the very beginning.
