ok, this is a tough one but in my experience, MC didn't help especially cause H wasn't "there." C suggested we actually stop since it was turning into IC with H while I was sitting there. it also became something my H used against me to say that he "tried" to work on the marriage.
for me, db coaching has been the most effective tool re: outside help. an option may be to have your H work with your DB coach. i know they do this as well and since this is their area of expertise, it might be more beneficial than traditional MC.
one point my coach made for my sitch is that traditional MC is a lot of expressing what each spouse "needs" and we're not there yet.
just my two cents...good luck with whatever you do!
