I wonder if she realizes that by being with him, she'd have a step-child? Getting her to leave him sounds great...I wonder if he might see that as controlling, vindictive, or whatever negative thought consumes him.
Making sure he knows your position on your M is good. Harping on it is bad. The baby does change things, though. He may have said mean things, and will probably do more. Remember, you have both been rough enough to each other that he is hurt, and you are too. Who plans a baby in the middle of a D? He's confused and angry that his plan to simply 'get away' is gone, and he might be realizing there's a social and moral obligation, too that he didn't have two weeks ago.
This doesn't excuse his behaviour, but I hope those ideas help you understand why your anger/hurt/resentment/(embarrassment?) isn't coming through to affect him. He loved(s) you. But now, he doesn't think he does or wants to.
I would highly suggest reading, getting busy learning about being a mom, and doing 180s to be the best wife you could be for him if he returns, or for another gentleman who deserves your love if he does not. Getting angry about his reactions will just give you wrinkles!!
