Newbie.Trying with faith and hope to save marriage

[papayachic]

ughhhh just do down and sad and angry and disgusted and everything right now.

Because he fell into a painkiller addiction almost 2 years ago,our lives went upside down. But I never divorced him. I always believed "for better or for worse". We were still in love just in a really bad rollercoaster.

I really thought me telling him to go up there to get away from temptation, to clear his head and then start couseling so he can get better and then so we can get better together was the best idea. It was my idea

I never thought by me telling him to go up there, I pushed him to another woman. I am just feel so hopeless right now. So empty. Just trying to get strong to reach second trimester.