"I sort of mentioned this to H and he replied with you're not going to be alone... YOU HAVE ME!!! WTF!!! Seriously!"
This is pretty curious behaviour. I'm not sure I understand it either.
He regrets that he left??? Would he be willing to go to MC or even separation counselling given that he has acknowledged that? You could say "I think both of us will regret it one day if we don't undertsand what happended to our marriage" or "It would really help me to understand what happened to...". etc.
A birth coach is a great idea, and I don't think you will miss WH in the birth. I didn't miss my WH AT ALL (and I thought I might). I was so concentrated on what was happening & frankly he would have been useless.
Still struck by how much he keeps saying he wants to be part of the baby's life and help you (my WH doesn't say this, remember, so for me it sounds like one psuedo positive for down the track).I guess you need to set some boundaries if you ever start up contact with him again.
In your state, how often (like how many hrs a week)can he legally see his newborn?
