Thanks for the kind words, but you have helped me as much as I have helped you. Go back and read some of my posts from a month or so ago. I was falling apart. Some people here I guess have a natural instinct about how to do things "right" before they get here. I didn't. I think most of us don't. We have to be taught. We have to learn and put that knowledge into action. I still continually screw up even though I think I am doing it right.
Don't beat yourself up so much:
Quote:
All I have ever wanted is to love her and be loved by her. I blew it so bad!!!
Yes, you made your share of mistakes, but she is the one who has decided that the vows the two of you took meant nothing. She is the one who has decided that the kids are better off without a full time father. IT'S ALL B.S.!!!
Don't pay any attention to her when she says she may have never loved you. That, too, is B.S. In her state of mind, ending the M will be getting rid of you and take the pressure off of her to do her part in fixing things. Well, guess what; you have kids together, you are their father and you have as much a right to be a part of their lives as she does. She may be able to limit the time you spend with them. (I confess, that is a big fear of mine also. :() But, she can never take them from you. She is making you out to be the bad guy to ease her own conscience. You know better and she does too.
I wish I had the answers for you, I really do. I think you have some of them and know what you need to do. It sucks, no doubt about it. I know the job situation is an added downer. All the more reason to suck it up and do what you need to do. Some of the changes I have made have helped me not only in my personal life, but at work, also. I walk around with my head held high, I am more confident and have received some perfomance bonuses and added duties that management said they thought I was ready for. The changes are for you! They bleed through to other parts of your life, and that's a good thing.
I know you are down, but you can and must do this. Come here for advice and to vent. I would be a big steaming pile of goo if I had not found this place. You are stronger than you think right now. Trust me!
