Couple of other things not sure if I already mentioned them -H said he does regret that he left -Regrets that he sprung D papers on me and acted so quickly (but not because he feels differently) -Says over and over that he was in love with me, loved me so much, thought we would always be together -said he genuinly wanted to help me and be there for me now (totally cake eating in my opinion) -cried when we spoke, guess he thought I'd always be fighting for him -says he will still be there for me and baby and the birth etc. ( i kept saying NO WAY)
You are right Piano, I never walked away. I am now the WAW. But this isnt a tactic to win his heart. I think its too late. I was naive and roped in and truly believed the friend thing couldve evolved into something mre...still think if i let it go it possibly couldve... just i am not strong enough. Not without giving me an inch.
Last we spoke, I told H that i now owe him nothing. I do not have to be polite or nice, or want him to bond with the baby. I do not have to share first giggle and first walk etc. as we are no longer friends (I know this will kill him, dont care). told H that he never cared enough to go see a shrink to see what his mental issue was and that never was anyone so darn confident that he leaves, files for D and is 100% sure in 5 months. he still will comment, no one is ever 100% sure... but his actions show otherwise.
i was walking in the sun today and said, ok, so I am divorced, I will raise a baby alone. I asked him to pick up the D papers on Monday, as of several hours ago, the papers were still there. I have no doubt in my mind that he will pick them up and file them quickly. Its strange I have no hope... zero... zip... I can honestly say I am not wishing him back or wishing he'd change his mind. I feel its all too late.
i have birthing class tonight... going alone. And a doc appt tomorrow... going alone. Have to seriously think about birthing coach... and so much to do to get ready for baby... alone.
I sort of mentioned this to H and he replied with you're not going to be alone... YOU HAVE ME!!! WTF!!! Seriously!
