Been reflecting on a weird convo with the xMIL yesterday.
She began referring to the subject matter of the email her D (xW)) sent me a few days ago. Recap: xW was again trying to reiterate to me she was going ahead and ceasing payments to daycare and after-school care providers for the weeks I have custody of our S's. xW just wants to cover her own weeks, but still wants me to utilize her mother's "services" for that part of the childcare,as well as everything else during my time. Basically, I would be paying for half of xMIL's monthly fee directly, were I to go along with that.
Well, yesterday, when I was picking the boys up from xMIL's place after work, the (evil) xMIL was trying to engage me in conversation, beginning with minor small talk and then escalating to asking me about where I stood with regards to xW's change to our child support plans. xMIL began trying to (not-so) subtly to persuade me that her being a provider of after-school care for my S's was more convenient and "cost-effective" than the alternatives, which she claimed to have investigated. (Inside I was both annoyed, since I don't like to engage in any meaningful conversation with this person, and also laughing at the pettiness of her approaching me in such a self-serving manner.)
The other thing that bothered me about xMIL was that this conversation was right in front of my S's. I was not prepared to give her any sort of answer at this early stage, and certainly not in front of my S's. I tried to coyly deflect her onto allowing us to end the convo for now and addressing it later. She even started to sing some pity card song about needing to know because if she couldn't count on my paying her my half of her fees, she would be unable to pay for her apartment and thus be forced to seek assisted-living accommodations. (boo hoo.)
I flat out told her I was simply unprepared to even talk about it until I had completed talking with my L to make sure I wouldn't be shooting myself in the foot. xMIL then tried to offer arguments about her D's custody agreement with me, as if she were her legal counsel or something. At that point, I courteously closed the conversation and moved my S's out her door.
The nerve! Her welfare is none of my concern any more, if it ever was. Her D is the one changing things up and if xMIL is worried about that jeopardizing her cushy arrangement, which she has enjoyed at my expense all along, I cannot concern myself. I have not made my decision yet, one way or the other, and I am not going to be brow-beaten by parties who have vested interests.
I am trying hard not to be a vindictive person. Seriously, I'm not. xW and her mother have been making themselves very comfortable eating my own lunch for many years now. But I will make my plans for my S's based not on their needs or wishes or desires, but on what I deem is best for my S's.
I will be leaving in a minute now to go and pick my S's up today from xMIL's place -- and I can bet there will be more of the hard-sell from her again. Sheesh.
