We had a positive MC session today. The counseler started out by asking how we were doing. I obviously told her not well, and that my wife had made no progress with respect to her feelings towards me. I went on that I had made the necessary permanent positive changes in my behaviour and our household that needed to take place and that she could either choose to "get on the bus" with us, or move on.
My wife indicated that she was a bit suprised and we had not discussed before the session (true). We all discussed further if seperation was the most logical solution at this point. My wife said no, that she would like more time (positive #1). We further discussed that the issue seems to be her holding on to all of the anger she has built up for me over the years (rightly so) and some methods to communicate to me, while I validate her feelings. In any event, the counselar flat out asked her if she wanted to continue to stay married to me and to work to do so. The answer was "yes" (positive #2).
At this point I am not sure that "emotional detachment" is the route to go. I think this may be more of an issue of me validating the hurt I have caused her over the years.
Any suggestions?
M: 39 W: 39 Kids (3): S10; S8; D4 Married 14 years Togethor: 18 years Wife's Weird Behavior Started: 2nd Half of 2009 Bomb Dropped (about being "so done"): 2/17/10 Current Status: In counseling
